- Write Down From Within Your Heart: Write down all the names of the people that you remember that has hurt you in any way you can possibly think of. Write down exactly what they did to you and why it hurt you. You will also realise that more and more names will pop up and that you will be writing down things that you thought never bothered you.
- Forgive Them by Their Names: You will not remember or know all the people’s names that did something bad to you. For instance: A car just drove right in front of you, causing you to break extremely fast and swing out. You are so mad and angry that you swear and scream on the guy, but he has probably reached his destination by the time you are still swearing and shouting on them. But, it never helps you to know that you have just forgiven the person that has done wrong to you if you just say “ok I forgive you or them”. You will definitely still think about that incident days, weeks, months or even years after it happened. You need to forgive them by their names or as the person you saw them. Here are two examples. One by name and one by no name.
- Name: “Father, I come to you in the Name of Jesus. I forgive Michelle for the hurt she caused me through gossiping about my deepest secrets (or whatever situation).Father I ask that you will take away this situation and let me remember no more what she has done to me. Please set me free and let me live the life of abundance you have promised me.
- No Name: Father I come to you in the Name of Jesus and I forgive the person that has driven right in front of me now, causing me to have anger against them. Please help me to react like you want me to and to stay calm this very moment.
- Forgive Quickly: Forgive as soon as the incident is over. For example: You and your husband are fighting and after a while the fight escalates into a much bigger fight and both of you shouted and called each other bad names and spoke thousands of negative words. Forgive him as soon as the fight is over and forgive yourself for the things you have said. Don’t wait and give satan the chance to awaken the anger within you and start another fight. Man, I can see satan whispering something into your mind that triggers you while he is at the side line eating popcorn and laughing at the show of fighting in front of him. Don’t open the door for satan to play with your mind. Forgive quickly and mean it. Your husband (or the person that you had a fight with) might still be angry at you or tell you that you cannot forget what happened so quickly. You can answer him and tell him or her that you can, because you have forgiven them and yourself and God expects us to move on.
- Forget! I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to forget as soon as you forgive. If you do not forget, then you have not forgiven. A very good example is when you in a fight with your friend or parents or any loved one and you bring all kinds of stuff that has happened in the past up, which you are adding fuel to the fire causing an explosion of feelings and actions. This leads to a domino effect. If you bring up old things than there will always be a fight. Forgive and forget about the situation completely and move on. Remember, all your fights are now in the past. This means that any fight from today will be as your first and so will be the next fight, because you have forgiven. Don’t bring up yesterdays, last weeks or even last year’s fights. They are in the past. Deal with the situation, forgive, forget and move on!
- Move On: Ok, so now you have forgiven the person that you held a grudge against for maybe seconds, days, weeks, months or even years! You have also forgotten what they have done to you as if it never happened right? Now you are invited to one of your friend’s birthday function and WALA! Here you walk right into that person. Now what? Let me explain: Now you need to greet them and talk to them and show them that you have forgiven them. You will get one of two reactions. A very friendly conversation, where they would even admit what they have done wrong and say sorry or a shock reaction where the other person just ignore you or still being rude to you. If this happens, then you need to stay strong and know that you are forgiven and you have forgiven them. When I forgave all those girls from school, I went from crying in the mall to walking up to them and greet them. They couldn’t look me in my eyes. They were so uneasy and shocked. Now God is working through me with such amazing women out there like you! I moved on. Although you walk into him or her again, never look back or be scared. If they are still rude to you the walk away, forgive, forget and move on!
Now, take the first step and forgive! Be proud of whom you are and let go of all the burdens. God want you to be free. Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy to bear and light.” In this verse God tells you that he doesn’t want you to carry any burdens! There are so many and unforgiveness is one of them. He is your Father and He doesn’t just want the best for you, He gives the best for you! So be strong and forgive. Walk the path of abundance with God and not with the world. Give over to God and He will take control.