Hi everyone, my name is Neleen Appelgryn I am 17 years old and I currently live in Worcester.
When I stand in the mirror and ask myself, who am I? My answers will always be:
- Always the one that never fits in
- The fat / ugly one.
- Not good enough
- Not worthy enough to be loved
- A nobody.
I didn’t know what self-confidence was, because every day I was so used to people breaking me down and telling me that I will get nowhere and that I’m not good enough that I started to believe them. I grew up with no friends, no-one to talk to and no-one who was there to listen to my broken heart; and everyday I died a little inside. People tell me “wow you’re 17, such a child and you have life easy” but if they only knew the battles and the giants I fight every day.
There was no reason to live anymore, I didn’t want to live anymore, I always felt unwanted, I’m in a world full of people but no-one seems to notice me. I knew who God was but I didn’t know Him, and I started blaming Him for the way people were towards me and I didn’t have a relationship with God at all.
It was hard growing up without someone to talk to and just someone to hug you and tell you everything is going to be alright.
In February I was scrolling down on Facebook and my eye noticed the words “Chrisma Youth Ministries”. I had a hunger inside of me to go, but the thoughts in the back of my head “no you won’t fit in, they are going to judge you anyway”, but by faith I went that Friday night and something amazing, speechless happened. The word was powerful as if it was meant for me but it was so strange because everybody made me feel welcome and loved and I had tears of joy. The word was about to speak life into your situations and I did and from that day, there was a fire in my heart burning brighter than ever before and I got to build a relationship with my Father Jesus Christ.
A few months went by and then the loneliness hit me again and I wanted to sleep and never wake up, and then a girl invited me to a conference, where I met the most powerful, strong, wonderful, amazing, the apple of God’s eye woman, Anicka Luyt; the founder of Real Woman For God.
Since day one, Anicka and I had a close bond and she helped me to fight with the word and to stand up for myself. I can’t tell you enough what an impact Real Woman For God and Anicka had in my life.
It’s only been a few months but I’m not where I want to be yet but I thank God I am not where I was a few months ago.
Today I stand proud and say:
You can say whatever you want about me but my God says “no weapon formed against me shall prosper” and if God is for me, then who can be against me? No-one can.
- I am worthy
- I am loved
- I am made of God’s image
- I am beautiful
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made
- I am God’s masterpiece.
I have learned to give, not because I have much, but because I know how it feels to have nothing.
I can’t wait to continue working with the founder of Real Woman For God.
GOD BLESS HER.